Nearly every single college coach I’ve spoken with has said that they stopped recruiting at least one athlete because of the parents.
Parents hurt their kids more in the recruiting process than the actual kids themselves.
What a shame.
College Recruiting Tips for Parents
I’ll be breaking down how parents should (and shouldn’t) handle themselves throughout the recruiting process.
This is an important read for both the athlete and parents/guardians.
Parents Serve Two Main Roles in Recruiting
- The main role of parents in college recruiting is to assist their child through the recruiting process.
- Parents are also responsible for discussing financial aid and scholarships with the school’s administrative office and coaching staff.
Let’s break this down further.
Main Responsibilities of Parents:
1. Provide Support and Advice
Continue doing what you’ve been doing your entire life – being there for your child and helping them overcome adversity.
- What this could include:
- getting them to practices, games, camps, etc
- meetings with college coaches and schools
- encouraging them to create a list of target schools
- creating a pros-cons list for schools they’re considering
- working with them to keep stats and make highlight tapes
- helping them communicate with college coaches
- representing your child as a liaison on AIR
2. Work With Their Resources
You’re the head of the family. Give them the resources they need to succeed athletically and academically.
- Who some of these other resources might include:
- guidance counselors
- tutors
- people in your network
- travel coaches
- trainers
- high school coaches
- etc
3. Represent Your Child Well
College coaches don’t just recruit the athlete – they recruit the family.
- It’s a balancing act..
- letting your child take the lead
- supporting and giving them advice
- coaches will appreciate this balance
Put yourself in the position of a coach – what would you want to see/hear from the parents of an athlete you’re interested in?
Make sure you understand the differences in division levels as well.
4. Ask the Right Questions to College Coaches
There’s a million things you want to ask. But here are a few of the big ones.
Remember to make sure your kid is asking the majority of them. Especially, during an in-person visit to campus.
- What does a day of one of your student-athletes look like?
- Are there on/off campus activities are available to athletes?
- What type of academic support do athletes receive?
- How do the housing accommodations work?
- Do athletes have the same meal plan as regular students?
- What happens if the athlete gets injured? What about insurance?
- How is the application process structured?
- What about scholarships and financial aid packages?
- What are the next steps?
While knowing what to do as a parent during the recruiting process is important, knowing what mistakes to avoid is much more valuable.
Common Mistakes Parents Make During the Process
Too often, parents overstep their role during the college recruiting process.
While most of them mean well, certain repeated actions can turn college coaches away.
KEEP IN MIND: college coaches will ask the high school coach about the parents when evaluating the athlete…what will the HS coach say about you as a parent?
1. Trying to Take Charge of the Process
College coaches ultimately want to get to know the recruit. That’s who they are going to be spending the next 4 years with.
Be sure to limit your involvement as a parent to ensure your child’s personality comes through.
Parents need to pick their moments:
- There are areas where it makes sense for parents to take the lead, specifically financial aid and scholarship packages
- Asking questions about the aid your child will receive is perfectly acceptable since you are financially responsible for their education
Overbearing parents will both frustrate and turn college coaches away.
2. Not Acting Correctly at Camps/Showcases/Tournaments
Coaches are there to watch the athlete, but they’ll have an eye in the stands as well.
Here’s what parents should avoid:
- Acting like nobody’s watching. Coaches are paying attention to parents as well. A parent’s behavior is a reflection of the student-athlete and the family.
- Over-parenting. Coaches don’t like to see parents coaching their athlete from the stands, complaining to other parents or even worse, yelling at coaches or officials about playing time or a certain call.
- Not knowing the rules. Depending on the division level, there are plenty of times throughout the year—called evaluation periods—when NCAA D1 and D2 coaches can watch athletes compete live but aren’t allowed to talk to them or their parents in-person. Have an idea of when you can and can’t talk to coaches.
- Approaching a coach at the wrong time. Don’t try to chat up a coach just as the event is starting or while they’re coaching. One of the best times to reach out to the coach is shortly after the event, you can have a quick word introducing yourself. Coaches will often seek out the recruits they’re interested in.
Sometimes knowing what to avoid is the best college recruiting tips for parents I can give you.
Earning an athletic scholarship and having the ability to sign NIL deals can be life-changing – but you can’t forget about the end goal.
Sports are just a vehicle to a better future. The cleats will be hung up one day.
- The goal of college is to get an education
- Less than 1% of college players go on to play professionally. The ones that do last an average of only 2-3 years.
- It is your role as a parent to remind your kids to consider the academic strength of the schools they are looking at so that they have a backup career plan
- Mixing Reality with Aspirations
- Parents need to both support their child’s dreams and tether them to reality
- While the recruit should be taking the lead in the recruiting process, it is often up to the parents to ask the difficult questions surrounding the school’s financial aid/scholarship packages
4. Communicating With College Coaches Incorrectly
This is one of the biggest mistakes parents make during the recruiting process.
Communication should be predominantly between the athlete and the coaches at the school they are considering.
- A major red flag for coaches:
- when parents answer questions that were directed to the recruit (whether in-person or through the phone)
- allow them to be independent and take the lead in the process – even if you feel you could answer the question better
- Coaches want to talk to the recruit first
- parents should allow their child and the coach to guide conversations
- coaches will direct questions towards you when it’s time
- remember, your kid is the one who will be with the coach for the next 4 years – not you
Keep in Mind as a Parent
You play an important role in the recruiting process, but it’s more important for your child to take the lead.
- Support your kid(s) in any way possible
- attend their games, camps, showcases, practices
- have faith in them and provide encouragement
- take pride in their accomplishments
- film their games for highlights if need be
- make sure they stay on top of their recruiting journey
- Take advantage of checklists:This will help you stay organized throughout the recruiting process.
- “schedule visits”
- “sign up for 3 camps in the summer”
- “put together a recruiting profile on AIR”
- “email all local colleges and universities”
Getting recruited to play in college is a full-family effort!
Take advantage of these college recruiting tips for parents.
